|Oprah on the couch (Photo credit: JudeanPeoplesFront)|
|Cover of Bill Clinton|
|Cover of Rush Limbaugh|
|English: Whoopi Goldberg at the Cannes film festival. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)|
Rush Limbaugh's secret phone call to Bill Clinton.
rush limbaugh gets his ya ya's out then washes Whoopi Goldberg's feet in hopes of redemption.
The limbaughing of limbaugh...............
You will feature Cooking With Alia to showcase strong young women around the world. You like it as a business model and you have always wondered about the proper use of Moroccan spices.
You have Glen Beck and Bill O'Reilly on your new show try to chat with them about the possibility of changing their ways--have they ever just thought about being a Democrat?
You will be heralded for developing a 12 step program for R.O.W.G.'s to promote the betterment of all people and relationships in the United States and around the world.
Your crowning glory will be to write a column for drudge to promote equal rights for women.
You disclose to Oprah in a soft voice that the giant hole in your heart has closed and you are finally able to give up food and pills as a crutch. You also reveal you are actually enjoying your new humility--you never thought you would be able to say that. Driven by fear and insecurity about your own masculinity you were hiding behind the arrogance and the pretense was becoming a burden. You will also confide to Oprah on national television that you have secretly always been jealous of Bill Clinton and you went home with a stomach-ache after that time you made fun of Hillary's hair.
Sean Hannity finally challenges you to a face-off in disgust. You reveal to Sean, you had been looking to Bill Clinton for diet and health advice for a long time. As you and Bill eventually became friends, it was hard at first, you realized that he was a great world leader and you asked him if you could make a large financial contribution to is humanitarian causes. Bill agrees to keep your new life private but urges you to publicly add your name to his cause--you finally give in and your name is glorified with other world leaders. Sean remains angry and mystified and continues to suffer from the disease of chronic and incurable self-righteousness.
Rush finally concedes to Leslie Stahl in CBS Sunday Morning exclusive, "I looked in the mirror one day and said, I'm large! and not just in radioland; frankly, Leslie, I was feeling jowly." "I heard Bill C. say he only eats things that are grown--no faces--my face was giant, and I did not want someone to eat me!"
Rush Limbaugh and Nancy Pelosi will ride together as Grand Marshall's in the Rose Parade in a final celebratory jubilee. You were honored because of the success of your anti-bullying campaign in America.
And Rush Limbaugh and Nancy Pelosi and Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg all lived happily ever after and Rush ended up being a frequent guest on The View.
......3 months later--bill, glen and drudge couldn't help but notice Rush's new found popularity with women (and higher ratings) and finally joined the 12 step program as followers and the world became a better place*